Women versus Men on Marriage

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

I know, it's been a while. I am sorry. Unfortunately, my hard drive in my computer died. So I had to wait till taxes to get a new one, then had to wait for it to arrive (gotta love supply issues) and then I had to set it up which took longer than expected. I did try to post a blog on my phone but it did not work with me. The good news is that I am back and I have two pages worth of topics to post about so stay tuned for more exciting blogs to come! Now, on to today's topic. Marriage.

I cover this in many of my blogs because this is actually a huge issue, and not just for the government to keep track of you or for the IRS to make you fill out a more complicated "filing jointly". This is also big in relationships. With a new higher percentage of men deciding against marriage and the stats of 41% of new marriages will end in divorce (see link below), this topic should be addressed from both sides before there is any misunderstanding. Why am I assuming there will be a misunderstanding? Bluntly speaking, because men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Okay that may have been a bit corny, but in all honestly men and women are so different that misunderstandings are bound to happen. Part of a true marriage is the understanding that this will happen and work together through these times. To help along, today we will discuss both sides. Ready? Let's discuss!

Women:

Yes, Ladies first. So every one understands that the wedding day is suppose to be the best day of your life. Well some of us from the older generations understand this as something completely different. Your wedding day is NOT suppose to be the best day of your life. Cue the yelling and insults. Hold on ladies, read on. The wedding day is the start of the best years of your life. When you look at it from a different perspective, the marriage day itself takes on a new meaning. Why should you? Men do. You see ladies, men do not care about the ceremony in general. They don't worry about it. Why? The most important thing to a guy is the the years after. When a man, (man not playboy) purposes, he is telling you that you are the one he feels confident about to face the challenges ahead and enjoy life at it's best. In other words, men actually care about the vows and take them very seriously. Remember that men, (again men not boys) actually honor their word. So when they make a huge commitment like that, they honor it to the " T "

There is also another part ladies. The one thing men have complete control over is the proposal. That is the story that will be told to the kids and grandkids along with friends. Your girlfriends will ask you, "How did he propose?" In fact, more people in your lives will ask about his proposal than about your wedding day. So he will put a lot of thought into this. Keep in mind that he needs to be mentally ready for it. So he needs that career job or needs to be on his purpose first. He needs to believe that he can offer what life he wants to give you before getting down on that knee. So here are things to keep in mind ladies.

1. His proposal is something he will have put a lot of thought into. Maybe he takes you to his favorite spot or maybe he takes you to a car show because he works on vintage cars. No matter where he takes you, it's important to him. Granted there are always exceptions but before questioning anything, ask him why he chose that area. Maybe he took you to the bar where you two met but you were too drunk to remember. Men put a lot of thinking into this so take the time to ask him and figure out his reasoning before judging him.

2. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE RING! I will scream this to the heavens till I die. Serious ladies, wedding rings used to be just silver bands. He picked it for you. Ask him why he picked it and he may just melt your heart with the story behind it. It may have been his great grandmother's ring and his great grandparents were married for 60 years. So he gave it to you because he saw that kind of future with you. That should kill any hate you have for a vintage ring. Again the ring and wedding day are only the start of your future together. Think of it as the doors opening to a future where you are able to rely on a partner through the good times and bad.

3. DO NOT let your friends say shit! I am serious! Grow a backbone and do not let your friends say anything bad about the ring or the way he proposed. A good friend will see how happy you are and be happy for you. Not criticize the ring or the way he asked. If you can not stand up to your girlfriends and tell them to shut up for trying to send negative vibes your way during such a joyous time, maybe you shouldn't be getting married. Just check out reddit on how many women's relationships were ruined because they listened or let their girlfriends become too involved in their relationships. This goes for guy friends too. If someone comments on how long you two have been together and ask if he has cold feet, grow a backbone and reply" Some of us don't need a piece of paper to show our devotion to each other." They will probably back peddle or shut up completely. It's non of their business. Stand up for your man! If you don't why would he want to stand up for you?

4. Slow down. I mean it. You should not even be talking about marriage till at least two years. I mean ladies, what if he's lying to you? What if you find out he is actually an unemployed drug dealer? Okay, that may be a stretch but seriously. Two years at a minimum. Figure them out. Find out how they handle stress, changes in every day life, and so forth. Talk to the family. Talk to friends. So two years is the absolute minimum you should be thinking about marriage. So stop bringing it up all the time. All it will do is annoy you because he seems to have a nonchalant attitude about it. Yes you should mention the fact you want to eventually be married but don't nag. Stop dropping hints too, I guarantee you he isn't actually receiving the hints.

5. We are detailed orientated. We worry. Better admit it now. All those little details where men say, "Let's just wing it." So understanding this part of you will help you understand the difference between where you both stand. Women generally worry more about the details while men worry about the big picture.

Men:

I'm sure some of you men skipped to this part right? Well stop and go back to the top. Read the women's part. Why? This will give you a better understanding of what goes on in their heads. Now on to your part.

As discussed above, your one big thing you get to do that will leave a bigger mark on your future that her wedding day is the proposal. Yes it will be judged by everyone. Does it matter? Not really. As long as she says yes, who cares? If she says no, then move on. Seriously don't ask her ten different times. So make the proposal something that is from your heart and means something to you. If she mocks it, says no, judges it, lets other people judge it then walk away. That shows she does not appreciate you. You want someone who appreciates you, not mocks you. This includes the ring too. Now with that said. there are some things you should keep in mind women think about that you may not.

1. Death. Yea, yea, I know you are all super heroes that will never die till you deem it so. Now, back to reality. Death can be sudden and a woman does have a reason to worry about this. For instance do you have a Will? Do you know who will execute your Will if you die? How much do you trust your family? Did you know that even with a Will it can be contested by your family after death which will pull your girlfriend and possible children into an ugly court battle? Death does some serious changes to people especially when money is involved. So this is a detail that women do worry about. It doesn't mean you are not our super hero we fel

2. l head over heals for. It's who we are as women. We are detailed, worry about the details. Yet even if you do not have a steady woman in your life, as a man, you should figure this out. How? Talk to an attorney. Make sure your Will is bullet proof. Make sure you have everything in line. If you get divorced, go to an attorney and make sure you put someone as the executor of your Will that you trust. Do your research. If nothing else, please take this advice men.

3. As a woman ages, it is not like fine wine. In fact most women become vulnerable especially after having children the older they go unmarried. This is a part of who we are. Now if you have everything figured out in case you die, and you guys live a comfortable life you'd think this would go away right? Wrong. You see, we as women know how much of a catch you are. Men are even more of a catch in their 30-40's. Problem is, younger women see that too. The younger generation of women are becoming relentless at pursuing men. What most of us thought were boundaries before no longer matter. We know there are young girls who would die to "accidently" get pregnant by you so we are self conscious as we get older. This is more an insight into women's minds but this is a good thing. Even a confident woman can be unnerved at a younger girl relentlessly pursuing you. This shows that she knows she's got a catch. The problems comes when she lets this control her behavior and she starts acting controlling. As long as you put your foot down, this will pass. Trust me, she wouldn't want a possessive boyfriend so don't let her become a possessive girl. Remember, a ring is a boundary. It may have become slightly transparent as of late, but it's still a boundary. It's suppose to be a circle of protection to ward off the opposite sex. Women still see it as this so just keep that in mind when dealing with a girl who mentions marriage after 3 or more years of a solid relationship.

4. You can always test her if you aren't sure. Get to know here for more than 2 years. Like 5. I know I told the women 2 years but there is a reason for this. Women are much better at pretending to be something they aren't and lying. So really get to know the woman first. Meet her friends, family, get to know how she handles different situations that may become important later on. If she seems to start becoming impatient after 3 or four years and nags you about marriage or her family nags you, then you know she/they care more about the day than the life after. You want a woman to be there for you through thick and thin. So take your time.

5. Try telling her when she brings it up, that you see the marriage day as the start of your future together. Tell her that you want the best days of her life to be after the wedding day. Her reaction to this will determine how she feels and if you should pursue this further. Keep in mind that it's still important to women but maybe changing the perspective will help her understand why you don't worry about it.

I hope that helps anyone who may need it! If you have a opinion or a story of your own about this topic, leave a comment and let me know what you think. Have a topic for a blog post? Go to my website and e-mail me and I will thank you when I type the blog. Want to help support me? Share the blog, subscribe to the e-mail, or become an affiliate to help bring traffic. In a world where having an opinion that differs from the current ideologies, traffic helps me stay independent through ads shown on my site. If you want to make a donation go my website where you will see a donate button through paypal. Thank you to all of my current subscribers and affiliates for the support as I work to bring you new perspectives, or even just a fun read. Stay tuned for the next blog tomorrow!

Info Links: https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

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