The End to the idea of Toxic Masculinity for a better future
- Classical Lady
- Apr 18, 2022
- 9 min read
Updated: Apr 27, 2022
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,
What is toxic masculinity? There are so many variations all over the internet with different degrees of importance. Throughout my researched I found 3 cores of commonality between all about what makes you apart of this group.
Toughness: This is the notion that men should be physically strong, emotionally callous, and behaviorally aggressive.
Antifeminity: This involves the idea that men should reject anything that is considered to be feminine, such as showing emotion or accepting help.
Power: This is the assumption that men must work toward obtaining power and status (social and financial) so they can gain the respect of others.
Sounds like horrific behavior doesn't it? If you are a man reading this, then you'll be happy to know that these definitions are warped to fit the toxic social norms among our society today. In a 2019 study, 62% of women who were asked said they looked up to masculine men, and 56% of women said that society looking up to masculine men was a good thing.(Reference link 1) So why does there seem to be a drive for an end to all mainly behavior? Today we'll discuss this along with many problems facing our men today. Feel free to reference links below to make your own decision on this topic.
In the beginning of the blog, I gave you the common tell tail signs of toxic masculinity. These are warped definitions by the current social norms found everywhere in our lives today. What are the actual definitions?
Definition of toughness
: the quality or state of being tough: such as: the quality of being strong and not easily broken, torn, etc.
This combination of strength and ductility makes spider silk extremely tough, matching the toughness of state-of-the-art carbon fibers such as Kevlar.— MIT Technology Review
also : the quality of being difficult to cut or chew… the extreme toughness of the beef … , which rendered it quite unfit … for any human consumption.— Charles Dickens
b: physical or emotional strength that allows someone to endure strain or hardship
Henin-Hardenne's unshakable mental toughness—
she says one of her great joys in life is staving off a break point in a tight match—makes her all the more formidable.— L. Jon Wertheim
Definition of anti-feminine : characterized by a deliberate or notable absence of femininity
anti-feminine behavioran
anti-feminine style of dress
Power: noun
ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something. political or national strength:
the balance of power in Europe.
verb (used with object)
to supply with electricity or other means of power:
Atomic energy powers the new submarines. to give power to; make powerful:
An outstanding quarterback powered the team in its upset victory.
adjective
operated or driven by a motor or electricity:
a power mower; power tools. power-assisted: cars with power brakes and power windows.
a state or country, especially one viewed in terms of its international influence and military strength. (For the rest reference links below)
These are the actually definitions of these words and not the full definition which can be found with links below. As you can see, they are vastly different from the ones in the beginning. It's a skill some women have used for centuries, twisting the facts to suit their needs. It's the same as twisting normal terms of respect like "Lady" or "Ma'am" so you'd feel guilty about using those terms. After all, who really sets out to insult someone? Most of us don't and would never want to hurt someone's feelings. Yet facts are twisted in order to gain attention and a sense of control by changing the definitions of normal words. If you read my post "Friend zoned, how do you know?", then you already saw how women changed Ma'am from a respectful term that used to be used to address royalty or a female officer, to meaning old.
"This is interesting but what does it have to do with toxic masculinity?"
Great question! It is the beginning of it. Changing the meaning of words and adding new words to the the language takes away the safety of understanding. Imagine you are walking and confronted by a reporter who asks you about words you've never heard. You stand there as she womansplains (opposite of mansplains) the definition in an accusatory tone, while the camera man pushes the camera closer to catch your reaction. Then the question comes. "Do you agree with this? Why didn't you know what it means?" The reporter demands to know.
Many of us may be thinking in our heads that the reason is because everyone is making up new, useless, terms to fit their need socially. Yet being raised in a society that calls for kindness and understanding, most would be as politically correct as they could be. There in lies the problem. The society becomes so concerned with political correctness that our freedom of speech is withering away in the blaring sun of the social norms. It festers the inability to take criticism, value unique opinions, and causes others to retreat away from society itself.
So how do we end this idea of toxic masculinity? The first step is to cite the correct definitions of terms and words that others will try to change. Then figure out why they are changing the word.
Toughness: Considered a horrible quality today, because it is considered being callous and promotes aggressive behavior.
Yet toughness first definition in the actual dictionary is the state of being tough, or not easily broken. Not easy to manipulate would be a comparison. The emotional or physical strength to overcome, or endure hardship. Isn't this what we want our men to be? Isn't this the qualities we look when considering someone to become the protector of our home?
Anti Feminine: The rejection by men of feminine qualities like showing emotion or accepting help.
The real definition is completely different. The notable absence of femininity. So some qualities of being feminine would be agreeableness, and gentleness. So by asking a man to show these qualities, wouldn't you be dating a female? Why not date a female then? Why would they possible want men to change?
Power: The idea that men must work towards success and status to gain respect of others.
Now where would that idea come from? Maybe the successful men with high status having a much easier time with women. Women being told to look for guys with high aspirations. Women saying men need to pay for the dates. This is just puzzling on where this idea comes from. Okay, back on topic.
The actually definition has a lot of parts to reference. The first one describes the ability to do or act. In other words the ability to get what you want. Political strength, or ability to make a change.
So to sum, society wants mediocre strength men that don't go achieve what they want in their lives, or at least it's not the core of who they are. No need to protect women because they can protect themselves. In fact maybe it's time women start protecting men from the dangers of being successful. If there is a threat to the home, women will rise above and go fight that intruder!
"No that's a man's job!"
I thought you wanted equality?
Being a man, or masculine is not toxic. In fact it is the core of why men are so successful. It has helped women become more successful as they learned the skills needed to not only survive, but dominate different job sectors.
"There is still inequality!"
Okay so do you want to go work construction or machine operating? Having done both myself, these jobs are not physically or mentally easy. Having the right mindset to push past exhaustion from working twelve hours a day, with muscles that are screaming at you. There are plenty of women that do well in these career fields. The reason there is not as many women, is because of interest. Not all women are interested in working these types of physical labor jobs or they have the mindset that they are better than just a laborer. Yet crying out for equality in these men dominating fields takes away from the hard work of those women who have succeeded in these fields. Men don't choose these fields because they are easy. They choose them for experience, money, or because of their passion. When women enter into these fields and push past preconceptions, they gain the respect of the men. Do men gain the respect of women when a man succeeds at a normally female dominating career? Not usually. Nursing is a good example. Male nurses are faced with criticism even if they are better suited for the job than their coworkers. Women make up 90% of the career field. (Reference below) Yet there is a stigma that men can't be as nurturing as women. Yet shouldn't this be celebrated? As shown above they want more nurturing men right?
The problem isn't equality but instead the fear that men entering female dominating field will bring competition that the majority can't compete against. Why else would you care about men entering in these fields? I'm sure the social norms of today wouldn't dare be sexist since they are fighting against sexism for the good of all genders. So it would have to come down to the qualities that make men successful naturally when applied to their career. So let's relook at those horrible qualities that society hates so much.
Toughness: Not easily broken, discouraged, and being able to endure through tough situations.
Anti Feminine: Not agreeable, hardness. Not willing to accept a 50 cent raise and fights for two dollars or finds a job that pays more. Resists changes, not easy to manipulate.
Power: The act of doing. The ability to go accomplish goals. Power to overcome and adapt..
To me, this sounds like great qualities to have in a career for men. So why would they be considered toxic? Keep in mind most of the social norms today do not advocate for men to stay home. In fact they advocate for both parents to be working career jobs. Why?
Look at these two graphs:
The first shows child care expenses rising. Now up to almost $1000 on average per child, per month, depending on age. For one child you could be looking at 12 grand a year for child care and only for one child.
The second is the consumer price index, and shows the increase over the past decades for common necessities average family pays for including food and energy. With inflation at a high this year and only expected to continue many families have to have both parents working in order to afford to live.
"It's okay, the government wants to give us free day care!"
Free is the operative word. You get what you pay for. If it's free, do you really have a right to complain? Lucky for you, you live in United States so yes you do. Yet many parents who stayed home during covid, realized their children were learning subjects they were not comfortable with. Parents are now taking a stand against schools and demanding better for their kids while being labeled a terrorist. Parents now taking their kids out of the schools and transferring to others. The push for free daycare has stagnated as parents start taking a different approach. Childcare works in PA participation decreased from 114,000 in 2021 to 89,000 in 2022. (Reference below) This change is causing worry among many experts but why?
Lets sum up. The social norms want weaker men, both parents working, and they want to help you afford childcare. In fact they can't understand why no one is taking advantage and pushing for this anymore. What does this mean?
This is my opinion based on the facts. The government wants more control over how our younger generation is being raised and more money from the parents paying taxes through work. They want to influence the trend of good worker, who's agreeable, doesn't push for better opportunities. They don't want men to be the family protectors anymore. They don't want men to meet the threat to the family head on while the woman fights against the social norms being taught to their kids. In fact they don't want the parents really involved in the teaching of school. If either parent stays home to raise the children, then they are not contributing to society. By attacking masculinity, calling it dangerous, they destroy the family protector. By attacking women for not working and acting like men, they destroy the strengths of being Feminine. By encouraging both parents to work full time and help pay for child care, it ensures the difficulty of saving enough for a future. It also puts the most vulnerable of our society to be molded for the future without us parents. I may be wrong about the reasons why. They are opinions. Maybe they don't care about the children and are just money hungry. No matter what the reason may be, the idea of Toxic Masculinity is dangerous and needs to be addressed before it's too late.
That's all for this blog post but I really hopes this helps anyone who may need this. If you have a opinion or a story of your own about this topic, leave a comment and let me know what you think. Have a topic for a blog post? Go to my website and e-mail me and I will thank you when I type the blog. Want to help support me? Share the blog, subscribe to the e-mail, or become an affiliate to help bring traffic. In a world where having an opinion that differs from the current ideologies, traffic helps me stay independent through ads shown on my site. If you want to make a donation go my website where you will see a donate button through Paypal. Thank you to all of my current subscribers and affiliates for the support as I work to bring you new perspectives, or even just a fun read. Stay tuned for the next blog!
Comments