Should you tell your partner everything?

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

I read an article that, in my opinion, is just another reason why relationships are struggling. Coming to dramatic ends during this time where we are already worried about financial issues. During a time where we are struggling with inflation, and supply issues, articles that give misinformation will cause relationships to degrade until it becomes luck that you are in one at all. I will put the link for the article below so you too can read it after, and see if you agree with me or the article. So let's discuss.

The article talks about the "Do's" and "Don'ts" when it comes to what you tell your partner. The worst part about this is that these are huge issues for many people and can have devastating effects on the relationship, especially after it comes out later. First let's talk about where the article is correct in sharing.

Share about your health (physically and mentally): This correct as certain health issues could have a impact on how lifestyles take shape. For instance, if you have a serious allergy. If your partner doesn't know this then they could introduce the allergen by accident which will leave you in the hospital or worse. Tell them if you have any health issues like STD's, cancer, severe depression, and other serious diseases that affect your every day life, if you are looking for a serious relationship. Sound like common sense? You'd be surprised how many keep this quiet when looking for a serious relationship because they are ashamed. The best time to introduce this is in the first few months if there is a connection. Not everyone may be mature enough or able to handle being the supportive partner. Add on that the idea of being supportive seems to be dwindling with less people being taught how to be supportive. Part of this is thanks to poor social skills and part is due to not understanding empathy. Before fully investing into a relationship, you want to make sure your partner will be there for you as much as you plan to be there for them. Leaving this topic untouched in conversation can lead to a surprise realization, and hurt feelings if your partner reacts negatively towards you for keeping it from them.

Share about your history of cheating: Do not keep this from your partner or sugar coat it so it makes you look better. You never know when your partner will meet your ex's or talk with your family where cheating comes into conversation. Don't make it sound like you left your ex for the one you thought you loved, or make up lies about it. Instead be open and honest in the the first month of this past so your partner is aware before any serious investment into the relationship takes place. You don't want it to come out later as a surprise with your relationship going well. Ex's also love interrupting your relationship if you have moved on and become successful if they are still in pain from the event.

Share your financial situation: In a struggling time, finances are at the forefront as a way to understand how someone handles stressful situations. If you are looking long term, then you need to be honest about your financial situation and debt. Why? You can not grow as a couple if you can not work towards a goal together. If you have a tendency to go spend more money that you don't have, your partner needs to know this. This is not a deal killer, they may even offer to help you learn how to better control yourself during these times which will help improve yourself. Share this at the least, before marriage, but as soon as you can so your partner is aware. The worse the economy gets, the more of an impact financial understanding and debt control will have on relationships.

Share family problems, problems you've over come and traumatic events: This is important for your partner to understand you and what you've gone through. Everything you've overcome or are working to over come has made you who you are today. You want your partner to understand your past and the self improvement you have accomplished over the years. It shows them how you have progressed, how you were able to over come obstacles, and informs them of any problems that may arise in the future. You've never truly understood some one until you understand what they've gone through and overcome.

Share why your last relationship ended: Again be honest no matter how embarrassed you are. Anyone from your friends, family or coworkers could let something slip that could introduce mistrust in the relationship if you do not mention it before hand. It will also inform your partner of where your expectations are.

Sharing Grief: This is important because in a committed relationship, you two are a team. You support each other and the support can not happen if they are not aware of where you need the support. Let them help you deal with your grief and make sure to be there with them for theirs.

Now, on to where the article goes wrong. Articles like these will give you a bunch of points that you agree with so that when it comes to topics you may disagree with, you'll have a more open mind. Keep this in mind when reading articles so you don't fall into this trap.

Sharing sexual experiences: The article says not to do this because of "triggers" the other may have. The fear of getting them angry or jealous, in other words. Do not listen to this. Share your experiences. This doesn't mean go on a two hour rant or monologue about it. If it comes up, don't be afraid to tell. Why? There may be some things your partner would love to try with you, or something your partner may not be interested at all. If as a woman, you are interested in dominating men, your partner may not like this. This should be discussed to avoid any actions that lead to cheating or the break of the relationship. It may be just a single experience you tried or something a bit more engrained than you realize. A good example is if your past sexual experiences involve a lot that your partner wants to try or themselves likes. If you refuse to partake even though you yourself have done it in the past, the truth could come out at a party or get together. Then your partner will feel betrayed and hurt as they learn that you not only refused to partake but that you are also not who you portrayed yourself as in the relationship. "People aren't their past. People can change." Yes they can. Your past also shapes who you are in the present and without an understanding of your past, then someone doesn't know you are. Another example is if you are interested in something you're partner is not. If this is a big deal to you, it'll slowly eat away at you and you may find yourself more open to advances from others which can lead to cheating. Communication is key for long term success, so take the time to discuss what you've done sexual in your past.

Sharing your amount of past sexual partners: This is the biggest red flag anyone could have no matter gender.

"It's the 21st century! Women can have as many sexual partners as they want!"

Well I wasn't being sexist here but sure, let's tackle this then. If you really are proud of your past then why keep it a secrete?

"Most men can't handle it."

So you would rather start your relationship off as a lie and have a partner that doesn't accept you as you are because you took the choice away from them?

"Why should it matter?"

It shows distrust you have for them, lying that could easily come back to bite you, and you took away their choice to choose you. You may think that who you are now is all that matters but a relationship that is strong, is strong because the partners don't need to worry about skeletons in the closet coming out to destroy the relationship, even if by accident. Think about how mad you get when products lie about how healthy they are or lie about what is in them. The horse meat sandal perhaps. If those things anger you, then how is lying about your past any different.

"He loves me, if he finds out he'll stay because of that."

Wrong again. Look up any men youtubers who talk about relationships and you'll find a growing amount of men who are putting their foot down. Is it really worth the risk of loosing a relationship because you were afraid?

"I'm not afraid!"

Then there is no reason for you to keep the past from your current partner. Another point is what if those past partners come back into the picture? They have no reason or duty to keep anything from your current partner. This also opens the door to any kind of mis interpretation or lies from your past partners to your current that could make a bad situation to the end of the relationship. After all, you lied to them for all this time, why should they trust what you say now even if you claim that's all you didn't tell them? It also opens the door to mistrust in general as if you lie once, what else do you lie about? So instead take the time to be honest.

Sharing about your ex: This one is a bit confusing in the article so let me make it simple. If you are still into your ex, or find yourself comparing your ex to current relationships, time to end the relationship and work on yourself. No one should be compared to an ex of their partner as it is a hit to self confidence and shatters the foundation of a relationship. Don't enter into a new relationship unless you are over your ex. If you share any good qualities of your ex, make you also share the reason's why you two didn't work out. For example:

"My ex was very funny but he was unable to be serious at the times needed."

This ensures that they are aware of why you broke up and that you do not hold feelings for them. It also shows them what you value in a relationship.

Here is the link to the article. What are your opinions on these? Do you disagree? Why? Have you experienced some of these situations that hurt your relationship? Leave a comment and let us know.

As always, take hold of your own future before it slips through your hands.

If you like our blogs, follow us on social media or subscribe. Your support helps us stay independent from the current social norms of the day and allows us to continue to give you great posts to read! Thank you so much to all of our subscribers, daily readers and our affiliates. Have a suggestion? Feel free to leave a comment or send us a message!