How do I make a long term relationship work?

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

With covid, there has been an increase in long term relationships. This could be people putting in their location preferences as anywhere on apps or being more open to long distance relationships. Something that is generally come up during this is the question, "How do I make a long distant relationship work." Well let's discuss.

I won't lie to you, it will not be easy. I am not sugar coating. Long distant relationships are hard for many reasons but one of the major is not spending enough time with each other. I personally would not suggest a long distance relationship, at least not start out as. I will however give you the good and bad and how to try to make it work. This may help you if you are considering a relationship or your spouse is stuck in another country during covid.

When will it end: This is a simple point but very important. When does the long distance relationship eventually end? Have an end in mind and discuss it with the other. Talk to them about it in detail along with goals and steps to reach that end goal. For one, you two will be striving toward a goal together and you can see the determination of the other to meet this end goal. If they seem to slack off the goals, always have excuses, always seem to start problems, then it is not a good idea to let this continue. After all it's only a long distant relationship, the problems will only increase closer together and any stress that life brings.

Exclusive or..: This is an important question. Is this relationship suppose to be exclusive? Do you both agree with this? Can they talk to you if they change their mind? This is necessary to prevent any accusations of cheating or misunderstandings.

Talk on the phone/skype/video: Another important tip. It does not matter what smiley faces you put or what kind of GIF's you send to try to convey your message, eventually one of your messages will be misinterpreted. So instead, talking on the phone or skyping will balance out the need to guess at what someone means because you will have more than just letters and GIF's. You'll have the voice, and on skype you'll be able to see their reactions.

Check in morning and night: No, I don't mean you ask if they are alive during these times. I mean sending a message so they know you are thinking of them, and so they will think of you. In a normally relationship, unless you work different shifts, the morning and nights for those who live together are alone together during this times. Reconnecting during these times will help ease the lonely feeling.

Monthly Visits: I'm sure this can be really hard depending on the distance but this is a part of the goal strategy to end up living closer so it'll be easier to see each other. Many "experts" say once a quarter is enough but the strive for monthly visits is a must. The more time apart with out seeing each other ends up feeling like a rift that slowly pulls further away until you are both looking at each other over this huge gap between you. So if monthly is not possible, at least keep trying to see each other as much as possible.

Try using technology the best you can: I know there are ways now to watch the same movie together while they record their reactions. So use technology to the best of your ability. Look up other ways to connect and talk about it. Make it a mission to see who can find more new ways. With a different kind of relationship comes with unique solutions.

Again, I would not suggest a long term relationship unless you have already been together for at least two years. With that aside, it is possible to make these relationships work. It does take two to make it work. It is unique problem solving to the main issue of long distance relationship which is not enough physical contact. No, I'm not just talking about the bedroom, but I'm sure that's up there too. I just mean normal contact of holding hands, hugs to even just a soft rub of the shoulders. So if you want it to work, then put goals down, define the relationship and put the effort in. It can be done, but you do need both sides to be willing. If the other person seems to pull back, reluctant to answer, always starting fights that are pointless or just not reaching the goals you two put down together, move on.

I hope that helps anyone who needs this advice. If you like our blogs, follow us on social media or subscribe. Your support helps us stay independent from the current social norms of the day and allows us to continue to give you great posts to read! Thank you so much to all of our subscribers, daily readers and our affiliates. Have a suggestion? Feel free to leave a comment or send us a message!