Friend zoned! How do you know?

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

The friend zone is place no one wants to be. It can feel like a small little box people put you in when you have bigger aspirations. No, there is no way out. Learning when someone does it to you, will help you avoid pain. So let's discuss phrases or things others will do in an effort to put walls as big as the Great Wall of China, around you in that little friend zone box.

Sir/Ma'am

Yes this is a boundary. A very clear boundary, mainly used with strangers. When used with the younger generation, it is amusing to see them unsure of how to respond. These terms normally deemed for respect, naturally puts a boundary down that friend zones someone upon meeting. Now if you're a man and thinking:

"I tried that and she freaked out about not being old."

Yes the age old, "I'm not an old lady!" No punt intended.

Well it's time for the truth. Women made up that rebuttal. This is the actual meaning of the two words from Oxford.

ma'am /mam/

noun

1. DATED•NORTH AMERICAN a term of respectful or polite address used for a woman. "excuse me, ma'am"

   • BRITISH a term of address for female royalty.

   • BRITISH a term of address for a ranking female officer in the police or armed forces.

sir /sər/

noun

1. used as a polite or respectful way of addressing a man, especially one in a position of authority. "excuse me, sir"
   

   • used to address a man at the beginning of a formal or business letter. "Dear Sir"

   • (in Britain) used as a title before the given name of a knight or baronet.

As you can see both terms are considered highly respectful. So why do women complain about it so much? The women don't like being told that something is out of their reach. You see both of these terms are like a boundary line that many wouldn't cross. Who would you call Ma'am or Sir? Your boss, elderly, someone in politics, police officers, firefighters, teachers, Judges and more. So as you can see, it has nothing to do with the age of the person. What it does is put a "Do not cross" boundary line in front. Women, especially single, hate being told what they can't have. So their normal response is to guilt trip you into thinking you disrespected them. Or my personally favorite:

"Well now you know my name and I know yours. Lets drop the formalities."

In other words she's trying to get up and cozy with you to prove you are not out of her reach. On the other hand when men are confronted with "Sir", the back straightens and they themselves become more formal. Men realize this is a respectful line and respect it, especially if it's used more than once. So men, don't let women guilt trip you, keep using Ma'am. Ladies if this term bothers you so much, why not do some research on how it used to be used. You could also take a page out of the men's book and not jump down a man's throat for using it.

You're like a sibling to me

You think you're going somewhere and all of a sudden your relationship is compared to a sibling. You might as well walk away and stop trying. When men or women say you are like a sibling to them, it is about as clear cut as you can get. That is a family boundary line. Ever heard someone say, "Eww, that's my sister/brother you're talking about!" Yup, that is a clear line to walk away. Even if they do become interested in you for some weird reason, after that statement wouldn't it be weird? How do you know what they said wasn't what they meant? Either way, no man or woman will ever see their life partner, as a sibling.

I wish I could find someone like you

The big ouch. When you want to scream, "Then why not me?!" Well if you get fed this line, time to hustle out of there. It's either a complete lie, coop out, or just spiteful. Besides you want someone who was always interested in you, not interested because of competition or feeling lonely. So no matter what they may say, don't go back with anyone who says this to you. It won't last long.

Let's go bra shopping

Men don't fall for this! This is her putting you into that box. As women, we don't take our men shopping with us. We go shopping and then surprise him later. She's treating you worse than her brother at that point. She's treating you like one of her girlfriends. Let that sink in. She's not treating you like a man, she is treating you like one of her Girlfriends. All bets are off at this point. Not only is she not interested, she has no respect for you. Don't go. Just walk away and move on.

I value our friendship

Either no confidence or they are friend zoning you. Women are really good at this one. It comes off as they really value the friendship so much, that they don't want it to be ruined by a failed relationship. What it really means is that she is not interested. In other words she already sees the relationship as a failure and knows that staying friends is the best way to keep you around.

I love you bro

Same thing as going shopping for bras. This is a clear friendzone. It means he doesn't see you in anyway relationship worthy and you are just another one of his guy friends. Now if you are in a relationship, this is great, since it clearly defines where you both stand. The problem comes when women have a crush on that guy next door she's know for years and he sees her like a guy. Don't think dressing up in front of him will make him change his mind either. It's crushing, but you'll survive. Move on while you can.

You're too nice for me

It's not you men, it's her. Well maybe a bit to do with you. This is usually how a women will talk to a weaker guy, (who she sees as weak) in her 20's. When everyone is telling her about the options out there and her yard is filled with guys just waiting. If you hear this, run. Block her number. She'll be the one calling you later when the guy doesn't stick around and she has a kid. She'll say how she was young and stupid not to see how great of a guy you were. So run away and block her number. You don't want her playing with your emotions later. Also work on improving yourself so you stand your ground more against women. Work out, find your purpose (read my blog "Finding Your Purpose" if you need inspiration) and take care of yourself. She's not worth it anyway.

You're really weird

This is just rude when people say this. Sorry, are you normally? Everyone is weird in their own way. What they are really saying is you are not their cup of tea. Just shrug your shoulders and move on. The phrase is just wrong and judgmental. Besides, what is normal? I thought we killed that idea when we were in grade school.

You're cute (when said to a guy)

Yea, this is not first grade. Few grown woman call the man they respect and love, "Cute". Sexy, hot, yum, all good terms. Cute, is not a good term. She'd call a kid cute. She'd call a dog cute. She'd probably call a fish cute. So she'll call anything little cute. Is that really how you want her feeling about you in a relationship?

Okay now that the phrases are out of the way, here are some actions that most of you will know right away.

The awkward giggle from a girl

The kind that just sounds painful and makes you want to cringe. Yup she is totally not interested and trying to figure out a way to kick you to the curb. If you hear it, just get up and move. There is also the phone call of suddenly needing to rush home for some reason. If your date was awkward before it, just know that call was probably the break out of prison call.

The awkward hug

The side hug, or the hug where they lean in and the bottom half of their body hasn't moved. You could measure the amount of distance between you. Some women might say, "Oh you are a front hugger." Yeah don't take this personally guys, it's just a woman not interested and trying to embarrass you into thinking it was inappropriate.

Have you seen my friends?

When at a social gathering and you walk up to someone, only to have them abruptly ask if you know where their friends are. They then hurry off and start conversing with a group of people you know they didn't come in with. Yup, they ditched you and didn't give you a chance. This is a common play on, safety in numbers. They knew you were looking and halted your path with cold water. It's okay, just brush the dirt from that sting and go back to enjoying the night.

That's all for this blog post but I really hopes this helps anyone who may need this. If you have a opinion or a story of your own about this topic, leave a comment and let me know what you think. Have a topic for a blog post? Go to my website and e-mail me and I will thank you when I type the blog. Want to help support me? Share the blog, subscribe to the e-mail, or become an affiliate to help bring traffic. In a world where having an opinion that differs from the current ideologies, traffic helps me stay independent through ads shown on my site. If you want to make a donation go my website where you will see a donate button through Paypal. Thank you to all of my current subscribers and affiliates for the support as I work to bring you new perspectives, or even just a fun read. Stay tuned for the next blog!